Jimmy and his new lady friend, Rachel, were cooking dinner at the bungalow this rainy evening. Rachel, an avid cook, was obviously in charge, but Jimmy was reading the recipe and working hard to be a helpful assistant (Jimmy can't cook, by his own admission). After Jimmy read the instructions for the amount of the salt and pepper needed, the following conversation ensued.
Jimmy: "Do we need to measure the salt and pepper now?"
Mer: "Jimmy, don't you know a pinch and a dash?"
Jimmy: "No, is that a band?"
These conversations are all true. I could not make this stuff up. I'm not that clever.